Not even three degrees of separation

So Piper has been at the hospital... a lot. Between the scheduled appointments and the other stuff they should dedicate a bench or something.
But that's not the point of this post, the point is that sometimes I use google latitude to see if she's still there and also on the map just down the road is this thing that looks like an oval of track, and that would be because it is.

I can't remember which trip it was but I'm pretty sure it was one of the early ones, Kim and Piper were driving me around and we came to this part of town to see the old Vineland Raceway. If you look closer you can see there wasn't just an oval but a track that ran across what is now College Dr and onto Cumberland County College before returning back around.

That day we drove onto the property because there were no fences and got as far as the oval, it was an interesting little ride because the vehicle we were in didn't have the greatest clearances and the "road" was quite badly rutted. Piper and Kim talked about the geocache that's somewhere on the property but we either didn't have the time or the equipment to go hunting for it so we just had a look around and then tried to drive out. I say tried because I can remember that we grounded on the way over the ridge between the oval and the land next to the road and panicked a bit, it wasn't too bad, we didn't leave any of the car behind but there was a moment when we thought we might get stuck.

It's funny, Kim wasn't from the area but she knew craploads about it and its history, probably more than some locals who just take things for granted. Kim was interested in stuff, she looked beyond the obvious and did more than her fair share of research which is something I plan to carry on.

How often do I think of Kim?

Not often, only any time there's a Bond film or a comic book movie, or Shrek (particularly 3, I saw it with K&P), Robots (saw it in IMAX with K&P) pretty much any other IMAX film. Anything with Richard Gere in it, all the Kevin Smith films, anything made by Disney, about Disney, associated with Disney, the Blues Brothers or anything set in a part of Chicago I recognise.

Anytime I hear anything by the Beatles or Barenaked Ladies or Alice Cooper or the Eagles, some tracks by Nelly Furtado, Lilly Allen or the Killers, Umbrella by the Manic Street Preachers (yes they did a cover), Smoke on the Water, anything that was used on a Bond soundtrack, Amy Winehouse for pulling out of doing a Bond theme, Queen's 86 Wembley concert.

Watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (we didn't watch much TV)

Things to do with Atlantic City or Philadelphia or Chicago or Michigan City or New York or Cincinnati. Amusement parks, particularly Six Flags Great Adventure or Disney Parks. Browns Mills, Red Bank, Red Lion Diner, Roebling Steel, the RiverLine, Railroads in general, Conrail or Winchester and Western in particular. Funny billboards, LED billboards, driving along the Schuykill Expressway, Micro Center, KoP.
Whenever I come out of Philadelphia Airport I remember the first time we met; 30th Street in Phily reminds me of the times Kim and Piper met me off trains. The trip in 2007 when we went all over Indiana, the trip to Orlando in 2008 which we took in her memory.

About half the time I see something to do with tea or with feet (these two things are related). Ordering the most expensive non-fish dish on the menu, fish dishes (again these two are related).

RonJons Surf shop, any time "young and irresponsible" is mentioned.

1001 more things.

Random times.

Nope I don't think about her much at all :(


Hugs
Cat

PS Every time I think of something else that reminds me of her I'm going to add it here, so expect this post to double in size :)

5 Years. . .
60 Months. . .
260 Months. . .
1825 Days. . .

All of those numbers,  even if you add them all together, doesn't really give you any idea how much I still miss Kim.

I think of her daily, I miss her frequently.

I have found someone very special to share my life with, and we are being blessed with the opportunity to bring a new life into this world together, and all I can think of is "Kim would be so happy"... or "I really wish you could have met Kim"...

It's hard, especially with Kim being 746 Miles away from here :(

It's been what... 3 years now since I've been to visit?

I know she's not there, her spirit is somewhere looking over us, but I still have the desire and even NEED to show my respect and devotion by visiting her in Michigan City.

To visit her Parents buried right next to her and thank them again, for raising Kim...

To travel around the town, remembering all the stories she told me and Cat about the place...

I want to post more, but just don't think I can...

It's been 5 years since I looked at you, and I still wake up some mornings wanting to run into your room and tell you about the story idea I had last night.

I miss you Kim, and while my heart doesn't feel as empty as it did right after you left this world, there is still a hole where you once were.

-Piper/PiggilyTails/Kirstyn Amanda Fox/JulieChristine/Serentiy/RyAnne

Really missing her

Ok, for all of you who think this is another post by Piper saying how much it still hurts SURPRISE! it's Cat saying how much it still hurts.

I didn't know Kim as long as some but over that far too short time I got to know her quite well and spend some time with her (it'll never ever be enough). Some of the best times of my life were with Piper and Kim in New Jersey and in Indiana.

People say "in time it gets better", I always thought that in time it hurts less but now I'm not so sure. Since Christmas Kim has been in my thoughts more than ever and while I wouldn't say I feel as bad as I did when she passed it's pretty darn close.

I'm pretty sure Piper mentioned the trip that we took to Walt Disney World the November after Kim passed, it was as good as it could be without her there too. That was where Piper found the Kingdom Keepers books by Ridley Pearson, I think Kim would have been all over them and we'd be discussing all the goings on.

I miss talking to her about trains. it's not that I can't talk to other people about trains, I can and I do, and if she were still with us she would know most of what I was going to say already.

I miss talking to her about Bond. I know the films quite well, for my sins I could list them in order, the 'official' EON pictures and the unofficial ones, who sung the theme and stuff like that but Kim knew the books too.

I miss talking to her about music. I thought my tastes were eclectic but hers were even broader.

I miss talking to her about stuff.

I've got stuff I want to talk to her about, need to talk to her about and I can't and it hurts

Hugs

Cat

IT's Been a While...

Wow, it's been a while since I posted here and I'm sorry for that.

It's not that I haven't been thinking of Kim much, because honestly that's quite the opposite.

When I go to my LG camp every year, we do Memory Stars... We go around the table once or twice, sometimes, 3 times or even more, and write down names on a post it star, and put them on a message board above the head of the diningroom table where we eat.

These are the names of people that for whatever reason, could no longer be with us. When it comes to us, we stand up, we say the person's name and a either a little bit about the person, why they are special to us, or why they couldn't make it.

My Mummy, Kim, is always the first person I put on the board. My first time @ camp after she passed, (about a year later), I couldn't get 5 words out of my mouth before I had to sit back down and just finish crying, whilst Catrina finished my speech.

The 2nd time, I managed to get a bit further. The third time, this last time, I managed to finish my speech, whilst crying.

There have been 5 LG camps since Kim passed, and we are coming up on the 6th. I've been to the last 3 in a row, and a total of 4 all together.

If I get the privledge of going again this spring (financial issues) I will continue my tradtion of placing a memory stary for Kim, but in the mean time...

This is Kim's online permanent memory star.

From a little girl, to her mummy that she loved so much.

-HuGgLeS-

-Piper/PiggilyTails/The Girl With a SMILE!

Messages from Kim...

Pickles and I recently went to see Disney/Pixar's "Up!" in Disney Digital 3D...

First off, don't go see that movie with anyone you are afraid or uncomfortable crying in front of.

YOU WILL CRY...

So will they...

I saw grown up "Macho" men, walking out of that theater, wiping their eyes.

It's a SAD, yet HAPPY movie at the same time.

To me, it seemed almost a like a message from Kim.

I won't give you specifics about the plot, but I am going to relay the message I got from the film.

If you haven't seen it yet, consider yourself warned.

Possible Spoiler warning.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

And the message I got out of the film, and was stated atleast once, was "Thanks for the adventure of a lifetime, now go have another" or in other words, stop sitting around thinking about me, and go have fun.

I try to have fun.

Sometimes.

I do think of her an awful lot tho.

I don't think that will ever change.

In fact, despite wanting to belive this was a message from Kim, I doubt I'm going to change much.

I love her. I won't just "Move On". I will try to add more Kim like activities in my life, to try and remember her in a healthy way. I will try to leave the house more than once a week... But I won't "move on".

-HuGgLeS-

-P/KAF

-The one drowing in a puddle full of tears....

Ringy Tones...

I have no clue if this should be here, or in my personal blog... But it has a bit to do with both, so I will post it here...

When Kim was admitted to the Hospital in Febuary 2008, I was a couple of short days from getting a new phone.

I bought that phone the day before she went into surgery.

As always comes w/ new phones, I had to transfer all my stuff from one to another, set ringtones, and set everything up.

When I did all that, I set a personalized ringtone for Kim...

At first I put "One Week" by BNL (Barnaked Ladies) because of the lyrics "It's been, One week since you looked at me" which was a inside joke kinda that she'd been in the hospital for a week or so.

When she didn't come home right after the surgery, and things started to look like they would take longer to get better, I changed her ringtone.

Kim and I both loved BNL. She's the one that really got me in to listening and HEARING their music. Understanding a lot of the undertones, and thinking more than about the pretty sounds.

The song I chose for Kim's ringtone was one that still makes me cry everytime I think about it, hear it, or anything.

The song is "Falling For The First Time" by Barenaked Ladies.

Because everytime I think about her, every time I see a picture of her, always... AWLAYS...

No matter how much time passes, I feel just as much love for her, as I did when I first met her.

She wasn't my biological mommy.

But what we had was even more special.

She CHOSE to be my mommy.

I CHOSE to be her little girl.

Some people say, there is no love stronger that that of a Mother and her Biological mother.

I counter that, and say that Mine and Kim's love for each other, would over shadow any other love in the universe.

I MISS HER SO MUCH!

-P/KAF/PT

-The Lonely Girl, with the streams of tears....