Not even three degrees of separation

So Piper has been at the hospital... a lot. Between the scheduled appointments and the other stuff they should dedicate a bench or something.
But that's not the point of this post, the point is that sometimes I use google latitude to see if she's still there and also on the map just down the road is this thing that looks like an oval of track, and that would be because it is.

I can't remember which trip it was but I'm pretty sure it was one of the early ones, Kim and Piper were driving me around and we came to this part of town to see the old Vineland Raceway. If you look closer you can see there wasn't just an oval but a track that ran across what is now College Dr and onto Cumberland County College before returning back around.

That day we drove onto the property because there were no fences and got as far as the oval, it was an interesting little ride because the vehicle we were in didn't have the greatest clearances and the "road" was quite badly rutted. Piper and Kim talked about the geocache that's somewhere on the property but we either didn't have the time or the equipment to go hunting for it so we just had a look around and then tried to drive out. I say tried because I can remember that we grounded on the way over the ridge between the oval and the land next to the road and panicked a bit, it wasn't too bad, we didn't leave any of the car behind but there was a moment when we thought we might get stuck.

It's funny, Kim wasn't from the area but she knew craploads about it and its history, probably more than some locals who just take things for granted. Kim was interested in stuff, she looked beyond the obvious and did more than her fair share of research which is something I plan to carry on.

Really missing her

Ok, for all of you who think this is another post by Piper saying how much it still hurts SURPRISE! it's Cat saying how much it still hurts.

I didn't know Kim as long as some but over that far too short time I got to know her quite well and spend some time with her (it'll never ever be enough). Some of the best times of my life were with Piper and Kim in New Jersey and in Indiana.

People say "in time it gets better", I always thought that in time it hurts less but now I'm not so sure. Since Christmas Kim has been in my thoughts more than ever and while I wouldn't say I feel as bad as I did when she passed it's pretty darn close.

I'm pretty sure Piper mentioned the trip that we took to Walt Disney World the November after Kim passed, it was as good as it could be without her there too. That was where Piper found the Kingdom Keepers books by Ridley Pearson, I think Kim would have been all over them and we'd be discussing all the goings on.

I miss talking to her about trains. it's not that I can't talk to other people about trains, I can and I do, and if she were still with us she would know most of what I was going to say already.

I miss talking to her about Bond. I know the films quite well, for my sins I could list them in order, the 'official' EON pictures and the unofficial ones, who sung the theme and stuff like that but Kim knew the books too.

I miss talking to her about music. I thought my tastes were eclectic but hers were even broader.

I miss talking to her about stuff.

I've got stuff I want to talk to her about, need to talk to her about and I can't and it hurts

Hugs

Cat

Ringy Tones...

I have no clue if this should be here, or in my personal blog... But it has a bit to do with both, so I will post it here...

When Kim was admitted to the Hospital in Febuary 2008, I was a couple of short days from getting a new phone.

I bought that phone the day before she went into surgery.

As always comes w/ new phones, I had to transfer all my stuff from one to another, set ringtones, and set everything up.

When I did all that, I set a personalized ringtone for Kim...

At first I put "One Week" by BNL (Barnaked Ladies) because of the lyrics "It's been, One week since you looked at me" which was a inside joke kinda that she'd been in the hospital for a week or so.

When she didn't come home right after the surgery, and things started to look like they would take longer to get better, I changed her ringtone.

Kim and I both loved BNL. She's the one that really got me in to listening and HEARING their music. Understanding a lot of the undertones, and thinking more than about the pretty sounds.

The song I chose for Kim's ringtone was one that still makes me cry everytime I think about it, hear it, or anything.

The song is "Falling For The First Time" by Barenaked Ladies.

Because everytime I think about her, every time I see a picture of her, always... AWLAYS...

No matter how much time passes, I feel just as much love for her, as I did when I first met her.

She wasn't my biological mommy.

But what we had was even more special.

She CHOSE to be my mommy.

I CHOSE to be her little girl.

Some people say, there is no love stronger that that of a Mother and her Biological mother.

I counter that, and say that Mine and Kim's love for each other, would over shadow any other love in the universe.

I MISS HER SO MUCH!

-P/KAF/PT

-The Lonely Girl, with the streams of tears....